Understanding an Old Friend

Time brings increased age.  Sometimes, if we are fortunate, time also brings perspective, understanding.  Although I suppose it is not a passive process.  It's the accumulation of first hand experiences that brings the additional perspective.  Over the past couple of weeks, I think I'm beginning to understand an old friend.

Back in the early 1990's I served on the user group steering committee of a software company back in Connecticut.  We met four times a year, doing things like prioritizing enhancement requests and bug fixes, and generally being a sounding board for the company.  We all worked for companies that were major users of the software in question.  One of my fellow committee members was from one of the larger US banks.  One thing we shared in common was a love for running.

Although to be honest, we weren't any where similar in our level of competence at running.  During the time I knew Ryan he was preparing to qualify for the US Olympic marathon trials.  I have never possessed that level of running ability.  But as runners often do, we talked running.  He always enjoyed hearing about my training and talking about was he was doing.  I never felt any less of a runner talking with Ryan.  And on occasion, I would run with him for part of his workout.  He would graciously accommodate my pace.  I remember one time in San Diego, I ran with him for six miles, then we split in Balboa park as he had really just warmed up and I was headed back to the hotel.

The thing with Ryan was that he was completely focused on qualifying for the up coming trials.  He thought he had a chance to qualify, but it was going to take a PR.  Because of the demands of his training, he was limited to working part time.  His company was very accommodating in that regard.  It was amazing how much of his life revolved around his running aspirations.

What got to me back then, was that he needed a PR to have a hope of qualifying.  He was close, but he hadn't ever run the qualifying time before.  And yet his life revolved around this goal.  Rolling things forward a bit, if he did manage to PR and to qualify for the Olympic trials, what do you think were his chances of actually making the team?  Right.  Zero.  His life, not just his running life, but his entire life was focused on qualifying to run in a race that really wouldn't make a difference to his future running one way or the other.

The guy was very good runner - much better than I ever was.  But he just wasn't Olympic caliber.  I used to use Ryan as an example of 'inexplicable behavior' in casual conversation.  Can you imagine, having virtually all aspects of your life revolve around qualifying to run in a race and then that would be it.  No medals.  No trip to the Olympics.  There was really no way for you to take the next step and make the team.  But I guess you would be able to say you ran in the Olympic Marathon trials.

So, over the last couple of weeks as I have been seriously contemplating attempting to qualify for the Boston Marathon, I have been reminded of Ryan.  Life is funny.  I don't remember if Ryan qualified or not.  But I do know this.  For the next 15 weeks, a lot of my energy is going to be focused on attempting to qualify for the Boston Marathon.  It will take a personal best (since I haven't ever run a marathon).  And should I qualify, that's really it.  I've no chance to win my age group, or anything like that.  But I guess I will be able to say I ran in the Boston Marathon.

Thanks, Ryan.  It took me a long time to figure it out, but you were a pretty inspirational figure in my life.  And now, not only do I understand my old friend a little better, but maybe, just maybe, I understand myself a little better as well.